Terrible Role Models

Starting a Diet

Good evening fellow food lovers who finds themselves just like me who need to diet or not eat ice cream everyday 😂 look we have all been there or currently debating life’s Choices but everyone needs to figure it out. Here are my 5 steps that I feel I do every time I am like I’m going on a diet.

Step 1: Deciding on the date when you going to start. Seems like every single time I tell my wife and family “ 2 weeks from today I’m going to get healthy, oh 1 week from today, oh shit in less than 24 hours I start my diet….this is my last cheat meal folks..😂 #brokenrecord

Step 2 : I buy a lot of protein powder, superfoods, pre-workout, vitamins enough to make a rhinoceros come back from the dead. What’s funny to me… is my wife and family knows because they give that look when the package shows up( because I don’t order shit) there like oh you must be going on a diet, or cleanse, or trying to lose that beer gut so your dick doesn’t look so small 😂 . #support

Step 3: Staring to eat healthy and diet food trends. Which is like going to the petting zoo and just watch the goats or the cows as they mulch on their grass or hay….😂 that’s how I look .. like ohh I love mulching on rabbit food…😂

Step 4: Breaking point… the breaking point is when I ask my wife repeatedly “ hey, do I need to pick up milk or toilet paper.” Something I would never ask, I mean I’m not a shitbag husband but during “dieting season” I’m like I’ll pick up whatever you want. Why? Well, that’s because I stop at the nearest gas station and grab chips, candy and consuming it before I get home, which is tough disposing of the evidence to include the nacho cheese from Doritos from the most popular body part “ my lips” and then the Reese’s pieces outrageous candy bar that the crumbs fall in between my legs and then the chocolate melts on my jeans….FML!!! 😂

Step 5: Busted by the family…. It’s simple I think… but when you pick up your son from high school and he’s like what smells like chips… and I lie “ don’t know man” how was school?🤷🏻‍♂️😂 only to have him tell me weeks later, “ hey thanks for letting me borrow the truck… oh by the way I found 8 Doritos bags underneath the seat…your on a diet right? 😂 Until next time, TRM.