Terrible Role Models

So, I have to talk about sometimes I’m just a royal mess 😂 so with my job every couple weeks, months I’m “ on call” for a week at a time. Which, means no alcohol consumption which is totally understandable and I have no issues with it. On the back end after I come off the week my ass is like well let’s drink some bbbbbeeeerrrrssss!!!! So nothing crazy, but add a lack of sleep and drinking beer I somehow during stumbled, blurred eyes, half naked go to bathroom. Needless to say I found myself peeing which in my inebriated brain thought was the toilet … not even the close, yes I was standing right in front of toilet but I pissed … probably a gallon right on the rug in front of toilet. Oh yeah, it soaked it all right up. Fast forward to approximately 0630 when I wake up and my wife wakes up ( I had the day off) she is like so do you remember what you did last night. I’m thinking “ did we have a threesome” however I respectfully asked “ no” she is like well I came to bed and put the dog in his bed and went to the bathroom and felt a gallons worth of piss on the rug through my toes. I was like oh shit…. Then for some stupid reason I started laughing uncontrollably 😂😂😂 not because I intentionally did it but she was like “ what the fuck” which when she said it she looked hot! Needless to say I cleaned the rugs, everything in the house while she was at work, made dinner, and still haven’t learned my lesson. Because now I’m drinking tequila, marriage and relationships 😂😂 everyone knows when you have a true relationship. Until next time, TRM.